I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
