I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
