what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize