I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
