I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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