I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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