I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wanna go halves on a baby?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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