but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
How's work?
Spinning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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