Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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