Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
