508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
