Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
