11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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