i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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