Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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