Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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