if only i could text you this smell
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
