I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My pussy is not your playground.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
