singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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