Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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