Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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