3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Damn victory sex feels great
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
