Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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