: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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