how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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