She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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