Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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