I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
