She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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