Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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