he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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