The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize