If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
