She just used a chaser for red wine.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
