how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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