Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
