oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
