Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
