youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just found a bag of teeth...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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