what day is it and did you see me today?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
