I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
