my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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