it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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