He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
