so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
