I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
