what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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