THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
