that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
