I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
