Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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