I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
