On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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