i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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