I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
