I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize