okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
