Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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