youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize