If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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