You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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